Today is my parents’ wedding anniversary. I don’t know if either of them realize it, but I do. And my sister does. It’s funny, because we didn’t know the date while they were married…or, if we did, it didn’t become important to us until after the divorce. I can’t say exactly why we care. The date doesn’t cause me to be particularly happy or sad. I’m not wondering about What Might Have Been. I’m not mourning the loss of What Once Was. It’s just a noticeable date- one that causes me to pause.
My own wedding anniversary was last week. I always forget the exact date. When I think about it, I just find it … odd. My life now is so much different than it was then. I have a hard time recognizing the person who wore that dress and said, “I do”. Even for as well as I remember it, my marriage feels like 15 minutes of another life.
In the wake of divorce, how do you handle anniversaries? Do you and your ex acknowledge each other on that day? Do you use that day to reflect? To mourn? To plan? Do you take extra time to appreciate your children? Or, like me, do you plow through without a second thought?