It’s January and lots of people are presently working on fulfilling their New Year’s Resolution to get divorced. With that in mind, I’d like to submit the following letter to those beginning the painful/joyful path to freedom…
Dear Dreadfully Divorcing,
I know your heart is riddled with emotions right now. I know that among those are guilt, shame, anger, hurt, loss, fear… and yes, even hope, love and anticipation. I know that your body is weary and your mind is tired. I understand you’re facing an uncertain future and your wallet is bracing for a big hit.
Everyone’s experience is different, and yet, they’re all the same. The following questions, affirmations and advice are intended to assist in lighting the path of your journey.
Do you want a divorce? Or do you want expensive drama? You are attractive, intelligent and independent. You know better than to get caught up in the ridiculous divorce games that people play.
Do you have children? Do you want them to make it through this experience as confident and complete individuals? If so, allow them to love their other parent (as imperfect as s/he might be). Humans aren’t yet capable of asexual reproduction, so don’t denigrate your child’s DNA.
What really matters? Is it who gets the kitchen table? Is it who doesn’t get the fine china? Or is it your sense of self, peace of mind and individual well-being? Self-care is important, be it naps, massages, sports or therapy… take the time to take care of you.