Email Fwd: Divorced Barbie

I received this joke in my inbox yesterday, thought I’d share…

The Divorced Barbie Doll
One day a father gets out of work and on his way home he suddenly remembers that it’s his daughter’s birthday. He pulls over to a Toy Shop and asks the sales person, ‘How much for one of those Barbie’s in the display window?’ The salesperson answers, ‘Which one do you mean, Sir? We have: Work Out Barbie for $19.95, Shopping Barbie for $19.95, Beach Barbie for $19.95, Disco Barbie for $19.95, Ballerina Barbie for $19.95, Astronaut Barbie for $19.95, Skater Barbie for $19.95, and Divorced Barbie for $265.95′.

The amazed father asks: ‘It’s what?! Why is the Divorced Barbie $265.95 and the others only $19.95?’

The annoyed salesperson rolls her eyes, sighs, and answers: ‘Sir…, Divorced Barbie comes with: Ken’s Car, Ken’s House, Ken’s Boat, Ken’s Furniture, Ken’s Computer, one of Ken’s Friends, and a key chain made with Ken’s balls.’

Now obviously, this story is a little far-fetched.  I mean… what father would forget his daughter’s birthday?  (And I don’t know what that sales lady is talking about… Ken was not anatomically correct “down there”)

I gotta feel bad for Ken, though… For years, I’ve watched that poor guy follow his wife all over the globe.  Whatever she was into, he suited up and went along for the ride.  The two of them had a heck of a life together: aside from the Dream House, they took lavish vacations in their RV!  He put up with Barbie’s kid sister and her friends.  And I’m sure Ken must’ve been inconvenienced on more than one occasion when Barbie and The Rockers were practicing in the garage.

So, after all that, Barbie has the nerve to run off with Ken’s friend and all his worldly possessions…. and we’re supposed to chuckle about it?

Oh, I know… Things may have looked great on the outside, but inside the walls of the dream house their marriage was a sham.  I’m sure Barbie spent a lot of time crying in the bathroom and Ken spent too much time out with his friends.  Poor Barbie probably got into all those crazy hobbies/careers to add some spice to their relationship… she tried to be Every Woman In The World (confession: I love that song by Air Supply) to him and it just wasn’t enough.  Ken probably didn’t  want a doctor/lawyer/scuba diver… he really just wanted a hot chick to put out in the back of their ’57 Chevy…. so it goes, so it goes….

If Barbie wants to get divorced, that’s fine with me.  I’m all for a woman taking control of her own life and happiness.  That being said, if that’s what she wants to do, she should do so with the same independence we’ve come to expect from her.  Barbie doesn’t need to rob her ex-husband to make it in the world…. and neither does any other self-respecting woman.  Ken deserves to keep 50% of the equity from the house and 100% of his testicles.

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9 comments on “Email Fwd: Divorced Barbie

  1. MTFFH says:

    As statistics have shown that married relationships have
    transformed from a lifetime commitment to temporary arrangements, I
    feel that it is prudent for the legal system to keep in step with
    this fact. The norm is no longer for a woman to stay at home
    raising junior and having the dinner repast and a cocktail ready
    for her male counterpart – the majority of females have a career
    that brings in a necessary second income and spend just as much
    time out of the home as do males. Junior is most likely at an after
    school day care until one or the other parent picks them up after
    work. Luckily, I do not myself pay either alimony or health
    insurance to my ex thanks to a savvy, and contemporary leaning,
    female lawyer. However, I am a distinct minority and have male
    friends and acquaintances who continue to pay through the nose
    after their own marriages have been dissolved. Many are court
    forced to live in near squalor and have no resemblance whatsoever
    to their former married lifestyle due to the enormous amount of
    money that they must blindly hand over to their ex because the
    marriage had “irreconcilable differences”. Even more shamefully,
    children, in the vast and overwhelming majority of cases, are de
    facto placed in custody of the mother, which adds immeasurably to
    the unreasonable avalanche of grief placed upon the father. In the
    meantime, though the female no longer has the same exact level of
    the full and rich lifestyle that she had become used to when they
    had a union, in the vast majority of cases, she most times still
    has access to the house, the furniture within, the appliances, the
    garage, the family car, the same neighborhood, the same health
    benefits, a weekly automatic deposit from the male’s paycheck,
    junior sleeping with her when the lights go out … Slowly, some
    states have been deluged by divorced men and divorced dads who have
    been organizing for years and lobbying various legislative branches
    in an effort to overturn antiquated divorce laws and replacing them
    with modern divorce laws reflecting the startling difference in
    what the roles in marriage used to be and now take into account the
    financial ramifications for both parties. These groups of men have
    been pushing hard for equal treatment and to that effort, many
    states have begun to repeal and amend out of date laws. Marriage is
    now like any other professional sport – was a time that Americans
    loved it for it’s purity and what it used to represent. But now,
    it’s been reduced to just another business arrangement fraught with
    pecuniary gains and losses refereed by a broker of some
    sort.

  2. MTFFH says:

    Wow! Thae formatting from my above message will teach me not to copy/paste from my PC anymore! I’m sorry about that.

    Hopefully my meaning will not be as scrambled.

  3. Jessica Bram says:

    Maybe I have no sense of humor, but I found that joke both misogynist and offensive. Not to mention painfully unfair to the many (the majority, one might argue) of divorced women who find themselves in much reduced financial states after divorce. More common than to find oneself with “Ken’s condo,boat, furniture, etc.” is to find oneself post divorce having to earn a living while continuing to raise young children, despite reduced earning power due to the career compromises that were required to bear and raise their children, and/or support his career. Anyone who confuses “who gets the stuff” with the true issues that both divorced women and men face – namely, pain, loss, the damage to self-esteem, fear, guilt, and the daunting necessity to rebuild one’s life, sometimes from scratch – have very sad value systems, indeed.

    • I think far too many people get caught up in “who gets what” and that’s what prevents healthy divorces from taking place. If a couple can step back from their emotions and stop trying to mute their pain with “stuff”, they might be able to work together to find reasonable compromises in the best interests of the whole family.

      • ChopperPapa says:

        DE, more than far too many people get caught up in the “who gets what”, every divorced couple (especially those with kids) gets caught up in it.

        It truly becomes a game of self preservation.

        PS– I thought the joke was hysterical! And am putting it on my personal FB page…and probably ChopperPapa’s Fan page too..which I hope you are a fan of…:-)

        • Not quite everyone, though I agree that it’s too common. In some cases, “self preservation” means taking as little as possible- especially in abusive situations. Personally, I didn’t want or take much… I should write a post about that…..

  4. […] such blog that I read yesterday comes from The
    Divorced Encouragist who authors Relative Evolutions. She wrote
    about a forwarded […]

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