Gratitude For My Good Divorce

Last week, one of my co-workers approached me and said he was thinking about buying a car.

“I showed [Other Co-Worker] a used BMW that I was looking at online.  He noticed the dealership and said it was your ex-husband’s place.”

I laughed, “Yeah, I used to own that lot!”

Without thinking twice, I dialed the phone…. “Hi Greg, it’s your favorite ex wife.”

“Hello Ex-Wife.”

“One of my co-workers is considering one of your cars.  What can you tell me about it?”

Greg pulled the Carfax report and told me everything he could.  “It’s a decent car,” he concluded.  “Your friend should come over and get it.” (spoken like a true salesman)

“OK, so if I send him over there, you’re gonna give him a good deal and say nice things about me, right?”

“No, I’ll tell him you’re a bitch… I’m just kidding!  I’ll be here until eight o’clock.”

I told Co-Worker what I knew and suggested he go look at the vehicle.

The following morning, Co-Worker stopped at my desk and gave me a goofy little piggy bank that kinda used to be mine back when I was Mrs. Ex Husband.  He thanked me for my help and said he liked the car enough to put down a deposit and he’d be picking it up later that night.  The sunroof didn’t work, but he was willing to fix it.  And Greg had taken a few hundred dollars off the sticker price, so he was happy about that.

A few hours later, my phone rang and it was Greg.  He thanked me for sending him the business and said he owed me one.  I thanked him for the piggy bank and after some chit-chat about his kids and my dog, we hung up.

So now  Co-Worker has a spiffy new ride, Greg has more money in his pocket and I have the satisfaction of knowing that it was me who made it possible. Hopefully the car won’t give Co-Worker any problems and we can all continue to be happy about this post-divorce interaction.

When I think about this story, I’m truly grateful for my “good divorce”.  Imagine how different this tale would have been if I had one of those way-too-typical messy divorces…  Co-Worker might never have told me he was looking at the car.  And if he did, what would have happened?  Would he have had to listen to me tell him what a sneaky-sleezy-loser-cheater Greg was?  Would I have been in a bad mood for the rest of the day because I’d chosen to expel negative energy about him?  Would Co-Worker have been terribly sorry he mentioned it?  And Greg would have missed out on the sale… unless, of course, Co-Worker had decided to go buy the car anyway, which would have irritated me even more…

Ugh, but I don’t really want to think about that.  I’m just glad I had a good divorce and four years later we can still give each other positive referrals and pleasant conversation.

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5 comments on “Gratitude For My Good Divorce

  1. I agree with you 110%. My divorce, though not totally final yet, has been amicable. We have a similar relationship to you and your ex, where I call him for favors, etc. and we both benefit without the awkward tension. I find it makes life after divorce so much more manageable.

  2. jolene1079 says:

    Totally agree. I am thankful for a good divorce and great post-divorce friendship. Means a lot and makes it not nearly as bad as it ever could’ve been.

  3. Sonia says:

    Ah, but if your once loving husband transformed into a cold-hearted ex whose aim is to crush you financially, socially, parentally, and any other way he can, what choice does a former wife have but go “No Contact” out of pure self preservation?

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