Would You Get Married Again?

Some do.  Some don’t.  I might.

When I was married, I hated  being married.  I despised people who said they were happily married.  I loathed marriage.  “Flawed institution!” I’d say.  I still say that… but with less enthusiasm.

It wasn’t until I got divorced that I realized the possibility of a solid, stable, happy, healthy marriage does, in fact, exist.  Emphasis on the word “possibility”.  There’s still a lot of roadblocks which frequently divert couples from the path to that goal.

I’ve heard people, in the wake of a divorce, proclaim “NEVER AGAIN!”  Perhaps because their marriage was hell.  Or their divorce was.  Fear of commitment, maybe?  Too devoted to the kids?  Financial risk?

I’ve seen others picking out new rings as soon as the ink on the divorce decree is dry.  Do they fear being alone?  Or it could be the result of a biological/psychological drive to restore a traditional Family Unit?  Financial gain?  Social status?

We’ve all got our reasons.

Currently, I think it would be nice to have a civil union:  a legally recognized domestic partnership which bears none of the stigma of “marriage” and still grants Boyfriend the right to visit me should I wind up in the ICU.  Not to mention the fact that it would elevate the status of my relationship beyond the juvenile-sounding “Boyfriend/Girlfriend” Level.

At this point, I’m no longer anti-marriage.  However, it remains an institution into which I have no desire to be admitted.  For now, at least.


3 comments on “Would You Get Married Again?

  1. Oh, boy. When I was married, I was happy. My husband said he was, too. I had the marriage everyone else wanted, the solid stable happy healthy. I thought we were the luckiest people on the planet. It all went to hell anyway. I can’t really see me getting married again. I don’t think I could feel more sure and more positive and more RIGHT about it than I did the first time. And if that wasn’t the real deal, then I don’t think I’d trust feeling that feeling again. I didn’t have any doubts before. Feeling certainty, feeling absence of doubt, feeling that it’s the absolute right union … that won’t hold water with me anymore. That confidence means nothing. And if that doesn’t, then I can’t imagine taking that step again ever. And that makes me sad, because I’ve always been a true believer when it comes to marriage. At this point, I think all relationships are temporary. And that’s not what marriage is supposed to be.

  2. Mandy says:

    Who knows what the future holds? I’m not sure I would get married but I would totally enjoy a committed relationship and if that lead to marriage, then so be it. I like to think I’d wiser now .. time will tell.

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