The more divorces I observe, the more gratitude I have for my own “divorced kid” experience when my parents separated. I didn’t feel the need to negate part of my family/life based on whom I was spending my time with. In other words:
- My dad’s family would ask me (with genuine interest) how my mom was doing.
- My mom’s family asked about my dad.
- I was comfortable discussing my Life-With-Mom with my pseudo-stepsister at my dad’s house.
- When Pseudo-Stepsister and I became close, we spent time together at my mom’s house (and her dad’s). I even brought Pseudo-Stepsister on vacation with my mom!
- My mom listened with a patient smile as I told her allllll about how awesome I thought my dad’s girlfriend was. (Years later, I found out that my dad’s girlfriend wasn’t as awesome as I’d thought. Mom’s tongue must’ve bled from biting it while listening to me babble about her.)
As is typical with divorce, there was a lot of tension between the adults involved. It was something I sensed from time to time but I didn’t know the details. And I never felt like I was part of a conflict. I didn’t have the urge to choose sides or say certain things to obtain favorable regard from any of the adults in my life. It seems I’m one of the lucky ones. It is my sincere hope that, as the divorce rate continues to exist, more children of divorce will find themselves in the ranks with me a few of my friends.