Attitudes and Habits

I was lucky enough to have off work today.  And just as I’m sure George and Abe would have wanted, Boyfriend and I went snowboarding.  Due to the excessive amount of coffee I downed with breakfast, I needed to make a pit stop rather early in our session.  As we headed toward the lodge, we were assaulted by the stench of cigarettes (note:  i have a cold now and yesterday I used the neti pot and I think it worked a little too well because my nose has been super sensitive since then).  What a change from the fresh mountain air I’d been gulping just a few minutes prior.

“Mmmm, that smells like a good cigarette,” Boyfriend said.

“Really?” I asked.  “I was just thinking that it’s making me gag.”

Boyfriend laughed, “Well, that’s because you were never a true smoker.”

“And thank God for that.” I replied.

Just then, the man in front of me turned around.  “I’m gagging you?” he asked me.

Suddenly I realized that I was acting like one of those horrendously obnoxious people who engages in loud conversation about immediate irritating factors to let others know that they do not approve of the current circumstances. (Oh shit.  That wasn’t my intention.)

Boyfriend jumped in.  “She never started smoking,” he told the man.  “But she’s pro smokers’ rights.”

“It’s true,” I smiled.  “I fully support what you’re doing, even though I don’t do it myself.”

“I didn’t start until I was 47 years old,” the smoker told us.  “Divorce will do that to you.”

“That’s funny,” Boyfriend said.  “I quit smoking when I got divorced!”

This amusing little exchange seems to be a pertinent illustration of the conflicting outlooks on divorce:  One man took up a self-destructive habit during the process.  Another man saw his divorce as a key step in improving his overall well-being, so he gave up that same habit.

Our attitudes do impact our actions.

Does anyone else have some thoughts on this topic?  What did you start/stop or what do you want to start/stop along with the divorce proceedings?  Any other “Divorce Resolutions” to suggest?

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2 comments on “Attitudes and Habits

  1. burblingbee says:

    Hi, I just stumbled across this blog, I hope you don’t mind 🙂

    For me, divorce (or rather, the bit before it, where my soon-to-be-ex-husband said he was going to leave) was the kick I needed to start trying to sort myself out, mentally. I didn’t realise it at the time – I thought I was going to counselling to get over his affair/separation etc, but it’s become all about dealing with my problems now.

    I’m glad I’m doing it – better now than look back when I’m 90 and wish I had – but I also wish I’d done it before now, so maybe I wouldn’t BE getting divorced.

    The only other thing I’ve started along with the separation is a heck of a lot of cake eating :-p

    • I love cake! I think divorce is a turning point when you need to look inside yourself and sort things out… most importantly, to take responsibility for the direction of your life. One of my favorite quotes is “it’s never too late to be who you might have been.” (George Eliot)

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