I mentioned before that my mom is getting married again. She made the announcement about two months ago and I’m still trying to wrap my head around the whole thing. I don’t know the guy. I only met him once, so it’s hella weird for me to accept the fact that this stranger is going to be my “stepfather”. But then, I also feel a glimmer of excitement because finally there will be an Official Title assigned to someone in my F-Word. (Bonus, I’m getting some stepsisters out of the deal as well. I’ve never met them and I hope they’re nothing like Cinderella’s stepsibs)
And so it causes me to ponder these titles… labels in general… what is the stereotype? What do they really mean? What do they really mean to me? Take the following:
- Bonus Mom
- Ex Husband
- Ex Wife
- Birth Mom
- Broken Home
- Bi-Nuclear Family
Some of these words, by definition from certain perspectives, mean the same thing. Yet, they conjure up very different thoughts and feelings for me. I wonder how much it matters. How often do other people consider these things? What judgments are they making about me based on the phrasing I use to describe my marital status and the people in my life? Do I care? Should I care? Do you care? (Personally I do prefer the more positive terminology and use it wherever possible)
To bring this back to my original thought: My “Mother’s Boyfriend” is going to become my “Stepfather”. And that means simply that he will be married to my mom, but I wasn’t created from his DNA. The term seems indicative of authority or guardianship… But (at least at this point), that’s not the case for me. He’s just some dude.
So, do I refer to him as my “Stepfather”? Or should I axe the meaningless-to-me title and proceed with my “Mother’s Husband”?