Parental Alienation Syndrome

I believe in Parental Alienation Syndrome.  I’ve seen several instances of it in varying degrees of severity.  And the alienator was not always the mother.  And not all siblings were affected.

I realize this is a highly controversial topic.  Many opponents state that it’s nothing more than an excuse used by abusers to gain access to children they intend to hurt.  Perhaps this is sometimes the case.  It has not been my observation.

I believe that families evolve through the process of divorce.  I believe this evolution can be a healthy process and bonds can strengthen when moving from a nuclear to a bi-nuclear status.  However, when alienation is present, the evolutionary process is hijacked by hurt, hatred and (often) lies.  The result is a mutation of the bi-nuclear family- often missing limbs of the family tree.

The first book I read on this topic was Divorce Poison,  by Dr. Richard Warshak.  I found this piece to be extremely informative and recommend it to anyone dealing with such a situation.  My copy is underlined, dog-eared and has been read multiple times.

Another book I found to be quite interesting was Adult Children of Parental Alienation Syndrome: Breaking the Ties That Bind, by Dr. Amy J. L. Baker.  In her book, Ms. Baker recounts her research with adults who were once children trained to despise one of their parents.  She discusses the the methods as well as the aftermath and gives the reader a glimpse into the lives of her subjects.

PAS is painful.  In many cases, the alienation extends beyond the targeted parent to his/her family and friends- even pets.  Half of the cast in a child’s life is suddenly wiped off the stage and labeled “enemies”.  Violence, profanity and hurtful behavior directed toward former family members is often encouraged and rewarded.   It’s as if the child is a weapon (of mass destruction) in a war s/he never asked to be part of.

And who wins?  Perhaps a better question is “who loses?”

Someone once told me, “I was instructed to hate my father.  But I was named after my father and I looked like him.  So I hated myself too.”

Hate is not a family value.  Divorce is not war.  Children should not be prisoners.

Advertisements

8 comments on “Parental Alienation Syndrome

  1. […] Alienation Syndrome, PAS Sunday is Parental Alienation Awareness Day and, as I’ve stated before, I believe in this phenomenon.  Therefore, I’m all about spreading the word and cautioning […]

  2. […] Back, Pluto”, a DVD about parental alienation from Dr. Richard A. Warshak.  As I’ve mentioned before, PA is a subject I feel quite strongly about, so I was overjoyed to hear this gem existed.  I […]

  3. […] Parental alienation is a topic the Divorce Encouragist feels strongly about. As a divorce coach she’s witnessed it in varying degrees of severity and says it can result in missing limbs from the family tree. She recently reviewed the DVD,  Welcome Back, Pluto by Dr. Richard A. Warshak and recommends Warshak as an excellent resource on the topic. […]

  4. […] Parental alienation is a topic the Divorce Encouragist feels strongly about. As a divorce coach she’s witnessed it in varying degrees of severity and says it can result in missing limbs from the family tree. She recently reviewed the DVD,  Welcome Back, Pluto by Dr. Richard A. Warshak and recommends Warshak as an excellent resource on the topic. […]

  5. […] Both of their parents.  And interfering with that is wrong.  (Trying not to launch into a rant about PAS…) Again, Mom and Dad should work together to determine the best scheduling options (check out […]

  6. jon adkins says:

    Parental alienation syndrome is real. Here are some graphic scenes from my own marriage and divorce revealing the malignant personality traits that so often underlie parental alienation, but are so often missed by the so-called professionals and the family courts.

  7. […] following video was linked in a comment on a previous post about Parental Alienation Syndrome.  I found it so moving that I was inspired to feature it in a new […]

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s