A Letter of Thanks

Recently, I discovered an awesome blog entitled The Stepfamily Letter Project.  This site allows readers to submit anonymous communication to their ex, partner’s ex, stepchildren/parents, etc.  I imagine this practice is quite therapeutic for those who’ve submitted their untold feelings for publication.  After reading, I was inspired to write a letter of my own- to my ex-husband’s mistress:

Dear Mistress:

When we met, I found the date to be quite appropriate:  6/6/06.  I remember the sinking feeling I had when I realized who you were… or rather, what you were.  I was surprised you had the audacity to, so professionally, introduce yourself and tell me how sorry you for the way things turned out in my marriage.

Later, when we spoke on the phone, I derived a sense of amusement from telling you that my husband had spent the past couple weeks trying to reconcile with me- all while you were waiting in the shadows for me to go away.  Your violent outburst at this information struck me as a little much, but I imagined the news was quite a shock to you.  I was not yet aware of your abusive tendencies and the hardship this would cause my ex and former in-laws.

The drama you’ve created has provided entertainment as well as irritation over the past few years.  And yet, I feel nothing less than gratitude for your presence in my past.  I know that without you, my inevitable divorce would not have taken place when it did.  I would not be where – or who– I am today if it were not for you.

Thank you… for providing physical affection to my husband at a time when I couldn’t bear to let him touch me.  He needed that.
Thank you… for moving into my marital home the day after I moved out.  You made it impossible for me to change my mind.
Thank you… for getting pregnant the day the divorce was finalized.  For everyone involved, this was the ultimate closure.

Thank you for the role you played in my becoming… Me.

The Ex Spouse


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